MERRY CHRISTMAS

i'm feeling happy now(:
its great to know that it is christmas day and im honoured to be one person who, in history, can be a part of merry christmas 2009. I think this is a pretty special thing cause there will only be one christmas 2009 in forever.okay enough of sentimental bulldog.and yes "bulldog" has become the replacement of "bullshit" cause its alot less vulgar.heh

at the christmas party yesterday,i had the opportunity to have a proper talk to jiale.well, then aunt julia asked us to draw the family tree but halfway we screwed out.and i numbered them wrongly, which made me the butt of the jokes.they were asking me something like "woah you failed your maths?"it was embarrassing but hey, lets look on the bright side, i made people smile.then we went off to one of the bedroom, got lame and started to play bingo. I taught her the trick method albert taught me.Haha.and we started talking about weird things:school, friends, courses, life.she asked me if i ever thought of suicide and i was like haha yeahs.who doesnt, i think most people do just that they don't do it.you can't help it when you are say standing by the window and then i will start thinking its just a topple and i will change my entire life.but no, i won't do such a silly thing cause the last time i told my mother that i didn't see the point of life at all, and she explained that im here to serve others, to lend a helping hand to those who are more unfortunate. i feel that it is true, because if i were ever to say that life was meaningless, then won't those people who are struck down by dieases and illnesses feel even worse than me since they have much lesser in life than i have? but i have realised that since they can live life to the fullest and still be optimistic then i have no reason to give up on the life that they so desperately struggle to have. if im doing so, im not doing the part of a human on earth.

then we went on to talk about stuff, and yes, we kind of talked to each other about our problems and gave each other advice.haha she said that guys were a ultimate waste of time and that there was no point wasting our time on them. MAN THATS THE ATTITUDE GIRL:Di'll learn that from you. next year, i want it to be a fulfilling year, haha i tend to say this all the time but then i always end up side tracking. i hope i can keep to my resolve of focusing on my work, sports and charity work.then maybe, i can find the better meaning life and quit wondering why God put us on earth only to die later.

anyway, here is a nice paragraph that i read in dean koontz's bestseller:the darkest evening of the year.here goes:

because God is never cruel, there is a reason for all things.We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts , to make a better person of a good one.-dean koontz.

till i read this, i guess i didn't know nor contemplated the cause that brought about sympathy. but upon thinking deeper, i think its true. (:i guess a loss is a double sided sword

Posted @Friday, December 25, 2009